WAKE UP WOO!

While wheeling Trevor to the cafeteria, I asked him what his plans are for when he gets home on Wednesday. He replied, "Sure." I asked, "You're going to 'sure' when you get home?" He laughed and then snapped, "Skateboarding."

My stomach dropped. I told him that there is no way in hell any of us are going to let him anywhere near a skateboard when he gets home. I then explained to him that after one brain injury, he was four times more likely to have another; after two brain injuries, he is now 16 times more likely to have a third. His eyes widened, but I wasn't done preaching. I informed him that if he gets the smallest jolt or bump to his head, he won't survive. He will die, no ifs, ands or buts about it. With a huge portion of his brain and skull already gone, he absolutely cannot afford anymore loss of brain cells. That means no more drinking, smoking or anything else that could cause damage. So, no, he will not be skateboarding when he returns home.

I was beginning to sound like his mom, but he seemed to get the point. He looked at me with a look of surprise and said, "Oh shit!" I replied, "Oh shit is right. So are you going to skateboard when you get home?" He said, "Nope." From his facial expression, it seemed like he was finally starting to realize the seriousness of the situation...

After his first rodeo, we had a really hard time finding a balance between safety and freedom. Given the fact that he is currently in the same situation again, we clearly failed to find that balance. This time, however, there is no room for error. We have to put his safety first no matter how mad or annoyed he gets because if we don't, well I don't think there will be a next time.

Having said that, here is some advice (and by advice, I don't mean it's optional) from my mom to those of you who plan on being there for Trevor during his recovery. She has been by his side for the past 75 days and unarguably knows better than anyone else what's best for Trevor. So listen up, homies:

If you plan to be with Trevor:

Stay as close to him as needed so that if he starts to stand up, you can be there to help him if he loses his balance.

Even in the bathroom, no matter if he says “no,” don’t be too far away.

This might help motivate you: If he falls, he WILL hit his head, and he WILL die.

Always watch his right arm and leg because he forgets they are there. Always make sure his right foot is positioned correctly. Make sure his right ankle isn’t twisted. Always check his right foot when he’s about to stand.

When he walks, gently hold his right upper arm. Let him sway as needed for balance but be prepared to catch him if he trips or if his right knee buckles. Always watch his right foot to make sure it doesn’t get caught on the floor as he pulls it forward. Always watch his right hand to make sure it doesn’t get caught on something extending from the wall, corners, a door knob, etc.

If he tries to talk but can't say a word or the right word, or if he says something that doesn't quite make sense, give him some time and then give him some choices. "Do you want 'sprite' or 'lemonade?' Don't be dependent on his nos meaning "no" and his yeses meaning "yes." In fact, he's less than 50% accurate. He has "expressive aphasia." Google it when you have time; it will help you understand.

Closely watch for inappropriate actions, especially when eating, such as drinking the ketchup (google "apraxia"). Nonchalantly, replace the ketchup with something to drink. Absolutely don’t laugh or make a big deal of it. Just quietly correct it. There will definitely be a time in his future to laugh at silly things he used to do (I think that showing him that he is constantly improving is great for his recovery) but not right when it is happening.

Television seems to be very therapeutic to him but not when anything else is going on in the room. Mute the TV when there are other conversations going on. He gets very frustrated when attention is not paid to the task at hand.

Keep in mind that Trevor has been inside a hospital for over 75 days. His eyes will be sensitive to light and the stimulation in the car or a restaurant might be overwhelming. Remember, if you are with Trevor, it MUST be about Trevor. When there is a lot of other stimulation, make sure any conversation or music is quiet.

Remember: no caffeine, nicotine, sleep deprivation, jolts to the head, or alcohol. So if you are a smoker, chewer, drinker, or late-night partier and you cannot refrain while you are around Trevor, then DON’T BE AROUND TREVOR.

Don’t say, “if your mom finds out, she’ll kill me.” Although I’m flattered that you care about me, I’d rather you care about Trevor. He needs to know that you care about him. That means that if you come to my house, I should be able to offer you a drink, and you should have the courtesy to turn me down SO TREVOR CAN SEE THAT IT IS YOUR CHOICE. He needs to constantly witness his peers making these choices. Please help teach Trevor how to say “no” to the things that could kill him! I will not judge you for the choices you make while not around Trevor. I completely get that this stuff is super fun and I hope you completely get that it isn’t an option for someone that has had six brain surgeries!

Jolts to the head include getting hit by a basketball, baseball, or any other kind of ball with the exception of a nerf ball. So if you cannot guarantee that Trevor will catch a ball being thrown at him (by the way, YOU CAN’T), please don’t throw it at him.

Definitely not least or last, unless you hear differently FROM ME, Trevor will not snowboard, skateboard, wakeboard, or ride a snowmobile EVER again. I am sure you understand how devastating this is for Trevor. Therefore give this some thought. Try to figure out how you are going to handle these subjects in a conversation.

If you disagree with the importance of any of the above, then please let me know. I released Trevor to the world last rodeo, and the world did not take care of him. Please help take care of him this rodeo!

So, there ya have it. We really appreciate your support and your being there for Trevor, but please help us keep him alive! We like him and would REALLY like to keep him around...