GRATITUDE

Since there's not a whole lot to update you all on, I thought I'd do another post about remaining positive. I've never been an advocate for self-help books by any means. Nobody is the same and the idea of a step-by-step instructional manual on how to be perfect seems a little outlandish to me. However, the book Happier completely changed my mind.

One topic that caught my attention was gratitude...

Along with happiness comes gratitude. We need to realize what positive things we have in our lives that give us meaning, and focus on those. Although our lives don't always go as planned and although there are many obstacles that come flying our way (sometimes bringing everything else to a halt), there are always things to be grateful for. Once we begin to pay attention to the positive things in our lives, the negative things will start to wither away.

During Trevor's recovery, I have realized how many things we truly take for granted, like being able to walk to the mailbox or being able to eat ice cream with a spoon. If we take the time to appreciate all the positive things going on in our lives, we will without a doubt be happier.

According to research done by Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, "those who keep a daily gratitude journal-- writing down at least five things for which they are grateful-- enjoy higher levels of emotional and physical well-being" (Ben-Shahar, p. 10). And who's not down for some higher doses of well-being?

I honestly don't remember the last time I sat down and thought about all the things I'm grateful for. It was probably during the typical Thanksgiving dinner when everyone has to go around the table and say something along the lines of 'I'm thankful for my family, my friends and the food on the table.' But that's definitely the extent of it...

Putting actual thought into it, here are a few things I'm grateful for during this crummy situation:

First off, I'm thankful that Trevor, who was given a decimal of a percentage chance of survival, is alive today. I am thankful for the crazy amounts of progression he has made during his recovery. I am thankful that I can walk into the room and see his smile every day. I'm thankful for the positive attitude he has had throughout all this. But most of all, I'm thankful that I've had the privilege to have him as my brother.

I'm thankful for my mom, who has proven to be the best mother on Earth. Not only has she been there for Trevor and myself during all this chaos, but she has literally given up everything in her life. She moved across the country, away from her dog and all of her fancy shmancy outfits, to spend each and every minute of each and every day by Trevor's side.

I'm thankful for my dad, who despite all the drama within my family, has taken a few weeks off life in Michigan to be here for Trevor and myself. I am thankful that he has sacrificed some booby-sales to support us during this hard time.

I'm thankful for Walker, my stepdad, who has gone through hell and back with my family. After years of torture from Trevor and myself, he has stuck through and proven to be the best, most sincere person I know. He has been a rock during this crisis, the hard foundation that keeps all of us standing. I don't know how he does it, but I am very, very thankful for him.

I'm thankful for all my closest friends, Megan, Ian, Claire and everyone else, who have provided shoulders for me to cry on during everything. Even though I've been an utter shit show, and have been terrible at returning phone calls, they've been awesome and I definitely couldn't be doing this without any of them!

Lastly, I'm thankful for all of you guys-- friends, family, friends of family, and family of friends-- who have proven to be a great support system for Trevor and the rest of the Rhoda/Walker clan. There is no doubt in my mind that the reason Trevor has progressed so much is because of all your kind thoughts, prayers and positive vibes.

So thank you!

Now go home and make a list for yourself. Write down five things you're grateful for. According to Ben-Shahar, "[t]he key is, despite the repetition, to keep the emotions fresh; imagine what each item means to you as you write it down, and experience the feeling associated with it. Doing this exercise regularly can help you to appreciate the positive in your life rather than take it for granted" (p. 11). It helps; I promise.